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LIVE-ACTION SHOW | ANIMATED SERIES | SIMPSONS PARODY

The Simpsons Musical:
"Stop the Planet of the Apes, I Want To Get Off!"

Probably the most popular reference to the Apes series ever created was the Simpsons' satire, "Stop the Planet of the Apes, I Want to Get Off!" In the episode "A Fish Called Selma," legendary actor Troy McClure (voiced by the late Phil Hartman), plays Taylor in the stage-musical version of Planet of the Apes.  This satire features two wonderful songs, is drop-dead funny, and is an excellent satire on the current trend to turn anything into a Broadway musical. I'd see this over Carrie, the Musical, any day. This material comes from the Troy McClure Pretty-Much-Everything Site and The Simpsons Archive.


Photos and Sound Clips


"Help Me, Dr. Zaius!" (WAV, 1.1MB)


"You'll never make a monkey out of me."
(WAV, 420KB)


"Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius!"
(Complete sequence, MPG, 5.67 MB)


Song Lyrics

"Dr. Zaius"

Ape: Help, the human's about to escape.
Troy: Get your paws off me, you dirty ape.
Ape: [gasping] He can talk!

Apes: [in unison, rythmed] He can talk
He can talk
He can talk
He can talk
He can talk
He can talk

Troy: [singing] I can siiiiiing!

[funky beat of "Rock Me Amadeus" starts playing]

Female Nurse Ape: Ooh, help me Dr. Zaius!
Apes: [in unison] Dr. Zaius, Dr. Zaius
Dr. Zaius, Dr. Zaius
Dr. Zaius, Dr. Zaius
Oh... Dr. Zaius
Ape: Dr. Zaius, Dr. Zaius.

Troy: What's wrong with me?
Zaius: I think you're crazy.
Troy: Want a second opinion.
Zaius: You're also lazy.

Apes: [in unison] Dr. Zaius, Dr. Zaius
Dr. Zaius, Dr. Zaius
Dr. Zaius, Dr. Zaius

[one ape starts breakdancing]

Oh... Dr. Zaius
Ape: Dr. Zaius, Dr. Zaius.

Troy: Can I play the piano anymore?
Zaius: Of course you can.
Troy: Well I couldn't before!

[plays piano]

"You'll Never Make a Monkey Out of Me"

Troy: [singing] I hate every ape I see
From chimpan-a to chimpan-zee
No, you'll never make a monkey out of me

Oh my God, I was wrong
It was Earth all along

You've finally made a monkey
Apes: Yes, we've finally made a monkey
Troy: Yes, you've finally made a monkey out of me
Apes: Yes, we've finally made a monkey out of you

Troy: I love you, Dr. Zaius!


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